Nana and Grandpa

my world - six weeks tomorrow.

everyday is dejavu - feed, play, sleep... although, my world is pretty

much without the sleep!  Why?  not sure... not for lack of trying that's for sure!!

Dray went to Chicago on Monday - will be back tonight.  I had to call

in the big guns!  :)  Thank God for Nana and Grandpa.

I will say - remember being hard-headed... well, it seems to 

still be here!  Nana did everything she could to make sure my life was easy -

why can't I let go - at least just a little bit.  I've never been one to be paranoid, 

have to be in control at ALL times, major schedule follower (who would have thought),

second guessing myself - second guessing everyone else, getting frustrated if

things aren't done the way I want them to be... yes, this is me now.

getting better?  a little - at least I think :)

just when I think I've got it down things change - normal?  I'm sure.  do I like?

not so much.  I use to say I love change - change is good - keeps you on your toes

and mixes things up... now... I'm all about routine.  Will this phase end?  yes.  when?  hopefully soon!!  it's hard when I look at that cute little face and want everything to be perfect for her.

I mean really - how cute is this...

I know - right!?!

Everyone says enjoy it now for this phase will pass - WAY too soon...

I think about that everyday... I see her personality, her expressions, her smiles and I wonder what kind of person she's going to be.  the infant stage is definitely a wonderful experience (no matter how much I complain or get stressed - I wouldn't change it for the world) -

my little mini-me.


sleep... one would think a newborn would be sleepy - nope.
Brynleigh likes to take cat naps... a lot of them!
just when you think she's asleep - she's wide awake and wants to be held...

and of course... momma holds her!!!

She's getting bigger - her cheeks are starting to get pudgy, which I love!

the feeding thing - still figuring it out!  We've started 3 bottles a day - half BM and half formula... she's seems to be doing well... although she never seems to be full - don't know where she puts it - is she going to be one of those who can eat anything and never gain???  HA - not with the parent's she has!!

she loves her Nana... and yes, Nana loves her!

I really need to take more pictures... I seem to miss a lot and very rarely get to capture a picture like above... note to self - carry the camera at all times!!

Mommy's Girl...

Yesterday was our one month doctors appointment - of course I had to put her in her

Mommy's girl outfit!

It went well... I was worried about her weight - her last appointment she weighed 6 lbs 11 oz

this time she weighed 7 lbs 11 oz - so she gained a pound but she's not really where she needs to be - her birth weight was 6 lbs 14 oz.

so now comes the decision - to introduce formula or to not introduce formula.

doc said it was up to me - he wasn't too worried... at least not like momma!  

So... bottle here we come.  Two nights ago we gave her a bottle - half formula and half BM -

Dray got to feed her for the first time - LOVED it!!  

She slept for 6 hours after that feeding - she drank 4 oz... wow... she's quite the piggy!  Now I'm hoping to see her put on some weight.  What worries me is she's not getting enough during the day from me... I'm sure all new moms think this and wonder... question is... is stressing about it worth it?!?

oh yea... first shot... at least first shot with me watching... wow, that was painful!  She'll get her first 'set' of shots at her 2 month visit - I've already instructed Dray he will be the one taking her :)

So far so good... motherhood is a blessing but straining!  I'm hoping my hardheadedness and my want to make everything perfect will go away - it doesn't have to be perfect for everyone else - just for me and my family!!!

We're excited to see Nana and Grandpa next week!  Dray will be out of town Monday thru Thursday - I managed to get through one night by myself but I'm not sure my sanity can take 3 nights!!!

I'll be sure to take pictures - I've got to get better at that!!

xoxo

One Month...

Where to begin - half of me is feeling worn down, frustrated, on edge... And the other half of me is feeling so very blessed, joy, happiness, complete. Amazing how one can feel so many different emotions all at once.

One month... So much has happened. We've been through an eye infection ( let me rephrase, still going through...) we've had our share of crying spells (no, not baby - momma!) we've had a major accident... while trying to trim the nails, momma nipped some skin... when the wailing started, momma had a breakdown... I cried more than Brynleigh!!!  That was very painful for me... can't imagine what it's going to be like when she has to have a shot or something... daddy might have to takeover that one!

The schedule... uugghh! 

At first I was paranoid that I would get off schedule - well, it does happen!  I've gotten a lot better now - but we're still trying to find our nitch - I was scared (but happy) that she slept for 5 1/2 hours one night... and then she started waking back up at 2:45am - it's like clock work!!  I think we're going to start a bottle - Dray can feed her a few times a day so they can bond and mommy can have a break!!  Wish us luck on that one!

And here is what makes it all better...

I won't go into what a struggle it was to take this pic... she just wasn't feeling it.  Not to mention we started this process hours before we actually got a shot we could use!  Thanks to Aunt Mandy - she came in for a visit... it was GREAT to spend time with her... wish we had more 'girl time'... but with a newborn it was a little hard!

To know me is to know that I'm hard-headed... no, really... I am :)  I very rarely ask for help and I'm certainly not one to share my feelings... until, of course, I'm about to blow... which can't be good!  Sis was all about helping me - making sure I got some rest and took charge - I hate to admit this but... due to my hard-headedness I didn't let her take care of us like she truly wanted.  My fault - a huge part of it was due to I wanted to spend time with her and how could that be done if I was sleeping???  We rarely get together and when we do I cherish that time and want to 'hang out.'... it was a short visit and we are TRULY hoping to have her back VERY soon!!!  We love Aunt Mandy more than she knows and are truly blessed to have her in our lives!!

I look at this picture - in the hospital - and look at her now... changes, yes... but it does worry me that she seems to be getting skinnier but taller... she is quite the long one!  Dray says she's going to be 6 foot and 120 lbs... we'll have to see about that.. ummm, have you seen her parents??? :)  We go to her first month appt on the 20th... LOTS of questions... hopefully momma will feel better after the visit!!

A shout out to Alicia for the monthly stickers... Mandy already picked out all the bows for the first 6 months of pics... hopefully it will get easier snapping a shot as she gets older :)

Till next time... much love... xoxoxo