thoughts of a worried mom

worried doesn't seem to sum it up :

fear?  maybe.  scared? could be.

for now, let's stick to... just unsure.

no pics for this post, sorry.  this is about me : my never ending, mind wandering worries about our little girl.  we are 10.5 months old.  we are a very, very happy baby : aside from those darn teeth!  we have two full bottoms, half of one on top and there seems to be two more trying to break through... poor baby girl but we're making it through.

I know my worry comes from comparing... as much as I tell myself I need to stop, it's just not working.  especially since we now belong to the Little Gym.  we do love it!  we are in the 10-19 month group - otherwise known as little birdies.  here's my hang-up... we are the youngest in the class : by at least 3 months.  so... all other little ones are crawling like champs, walking around like there's no tomorrow... and here we are doing everything we can to get her to put one foot in front of the other.  I know joining is the best thing we can do - it gets her around other little ones and allows her to see how the 'big' kids play and act.  

we started crawling about a month ago... I use that term loosely cause crawling to us is army crawling!  I mean, she gets down and goes for it.  she will stop herself, arch her back to get up on all fours but can't quite seem to figure out that if she stays on her hands an knees and just puts one hand in front of the other she would get there a lot faster :)  so of course, I'm happy she's getting around other than rolling everywhere (although she got pretty darn fast at rolling!) but it begs the question of... am I doing everything I need to for her development?

being a stahm is a dream come true - i enjoy seeing her grow each and every day.  her hand coordination is beyond perfect - she feeds herself, drinks from her sippy cup by herself (she still won't hold her bottle unless I make her... guess that's mommy and me time and our cuddle time so I'll take that!)  so worried about that stuff, not at all.  she talks in her own language - she does say dadada (not sure if she knows what that means) and I'm always saying 'mama' and she just looks at me and gives me that cute little smile.  

standing:  she's gotten good at it.  she can't pull herself up to a standing position, she's not holding on to furniture and moving around it... I want so badly to hold her hands and try to get her to walk but I can't : she's got nurses elbow and if you pull her arms up by her hands, the muscle moves over her bone and it's extremely painful... we've been to the docs 3x for it and they finally taught me how to put the muscle back in place.  

so here I am - worried about my little ones development.  I'm sure all moms get worried.  we've seen a lot of 10.5 month old that are walking (with support) and I ask myself 'what am I doing wrong?'  then, of course, they say their little one goes to daycare and a light bulb went off... do babies learn quicker when going to daycare due to they are around other babies and learn from each other?  we can all answer that question.  should i put her in daycare...  should i be doing more for her... when i already know that the correct answer is to STOP dwelling and enjoy each and every day with her!  dray tells me to stop stressing over it and the doc isn't worried at all and tells me that a) crawling isn't a milestone even though parents expect their children to crawl and b) she'll walk when she's good and ready.  even with the support of the doc and my wonderful hubby - i still can't help but worry.

as I'm writing this i think... i should be writing about all the wonderful things and how much joy she's brought to my life... she has and i am very blessed to have a wonderful, happy baby.

like all moms i just want the best for her... am i overreacting?  with all this going through my mind... i am now going to go get my little one up and enjoy each and every second with her... dear worries, please go away.