Nana and Grandpa

my world - six weeks tomorrow.

everyday is dejavu - feed, play, sleep... although, my world is pretty

much without the sleep!  Why?  not sure... not for lack of trying that's for sure!!

Dray went to Chicago on Monday - will be back tonight.  I had to call

in the big guns!  :)  Thank God for Nana and Grandpa.

I will say - remember being hard-headed... well, it seems to 

still be here!  Nana did everything she could to make sure my life was easy -

why can't I let go - at least just a little bit.  I've never been one to be paranoid, 

have to be in control at ALL times, major schedule follower (who would have thought),

second guessing myself - second guessing everyone else, getting frustrated if

things aren't done the way I want them to be... yes, this is me now.

getting better?  a little - at least I think :)

just when I think I've got it down things change - normal?  I'm sure.  do I like?

not so much.  I use to say I love change - change is good - keeps you on your toes

and mixes things up... now... I'm all about routine.  Will this phase end?  yes.  when?  hopefully soon!!  it's hard when I look at that cute little face and want everything to be perfect for her.

I mean really - how cute is this...

I know - right!?!

Everyone says enjoy it now for this phase will pass - WAY too soon...

I think about that everyday... I see her personality, her expressions, her smiles and I wonder what kind of person she's going to be.  the infant stage is definitely a wonderful experience (no matter how much I complain or get stressed - I wouldn't change it for the world) -

my little mini-me.


sleep... one would think a newborn would be sleepy - nope.
Brynleigh likes to take cat naps... a lot of them!
just when you think she's asleep - she's wide awake and wants to be held...

and of course... momma holds her!!!

She's getting bigger - her cheeks are starting to get pudgy, which I love!

the feeding thing - still figuring it out!  We've started 3 bottles a day - half BM and half formula... she's seems to be doing well... although she never seems to be full - don't know where she puts it - is she going to be one of those who can eat anything and never gain???  HA - not with the parent's she has!!

she loves her Nana... and yes, Nana loves her!

I really need to take more pictures... I seem to miss a lot and very rarely get to capture a picture like above... note to self - carry the camera at all times!!

Mommy's Girl...

Yesterday was our one month doctors appointment - of course I had to put her in her

Mommy's girl outfit!

It went well... I was worried about her weight - her last appointment she weighed 6 lbs 11 oz

this time she weighed 7 lbs 11 oz - so she gained a pound but she's not really where she needs to be - her birth weight was 6 lbs 14 oz.

so now comes the decision - to introduce formula or to not introduce formula.

doc said it was up to me - he wasn't too worried... at least not like momma!  

So... bottle here we come.  Two nights ago we gave her a bottle - half formula and half BM -

Dray got to feed her for the first time - LOVED it!!  

She slept for 6 hours after that feeding - she drank 4 oz... wow... she's quite the piggy!  Now I'm hoping to see her put on some weight.  What worries me is she's not getting enough during the day from me... I'm sure all new moms think this and wonder... question is... is stressing about it worth it?!?

oh yea... first shot... at least first shot with me watching... wow, that was painful!  She'll get her first 'set' of shots at her 2 month visit - I've already instructed Dray he will be the one taking her :)

So far so good... motherhood is a blessing but straining!  I'm hoping my hardheadedness and my want to make everything perfect will go away - it doesn't have to be perfect for everyone else - just for me and my family!!!

We're excited to see Nana and Grandpa next week!  Dray will be out of town Monday thru Thursday - I managed to get through one night by myself but I'm not sure my sanity can take 3 nights!!!

I'll be sure to take pictures - I've got to get better at that!!

xoxo

One Month...

Where to begin - half of me is feeling worn down, frustrated, on edge... And the other half of me is feeling so very blessed, joy, happiness, complete. Amazing how one can feel so many different emotions all at once.

One month... So much has happened. We've been through an eye infection ( let me rephrase, still going through...) we've had our share of crying spells (no, not baby - momma!) we've had a major accident... while trying to trim the nails, momma nipped some skin... when the wailing started, momma had a breakdown... I cried more than Brynleigh!!!  That was very painful for me... can't imagine what it's going to be like when she has to have a shot or something... daddy might have to takeover that one!

The schedule... uugghh! 

At first I was paranoid that I would get off schedule - well, it does happen!  I've gotten a lot better now - but we're still trying to find our nitch - I was scared (but happy) that she slept for 5 1/2 hours one night... and then she started waking back up at 2:45am - it's like clock work!!  I think we're going to start a bottle - Dray can feed her a few times a day so they can bond and mommy can have a break!!  Wish us luck on that one!

And here is what makes it all better...

I won't go into what a struggle it was to take this pic... she just wasn't feeling it.  Not to mention we started this process hours before we actually got a shot we could use!  Thanks to Aunt Mandy - she came in for a visit... it was GREAT to spend time with her... wish we had more 'girl time'... but with a newborn it was a little hard!

To know me is to know that I'm hard-headed... no, really... I am :)  I very rarely ask for help and I'm certainly not one to share my feelings... until, of course, I'm about to blow... which can't be good!  Sis was all about helping me - making sure I got some rest and took charge - I hate to admit this but... due to my hard-headedness I didn't let her take care of us like she truly wanted.  My fault - a huge part of it was due to I wanted to spend time with her and how could that be done if I was sleeping???  We rarely get together and when we do I cherish that time and want to 'hang out.'... it was a short visit and we are TRULY hoping to have her back VERY soon!!!  We love Aunt Mandy more than she knows and are truly blessed to have her in our lives!!

I look at this picture - in the hospital - and look at her now... changes, yes... but it does worry me that she seems to be getting skinnier but taller... she is quite the long one!  Dray says she's going to be 6 foot and 120 lbs... we'll have to see about that.. ummm, have you seen her parents??? :)  We go to her first month appt on the 20th... LOTS of questions... hopefully momma will feel better after the visit!!

A shout out to Alicia for the monthly stickers... Mandy already picked out all the bows for the first 6 months of pics... hopefully it will get easier snapping a shot as she gets older :)

Till next time... much love... xoxoxo



My world

Enough said!! 

Yes - I am still in heaven (sleep deprived heaven -

but still... :) )

My hubby and my baby... is there anything I don't

have??  A caring husband - beautiful baby (of

course I'm biased!!) - does it get any better??

First outing today - must me and Brynleigh.  WOW!  Not gonna lie and say there wasn't a hint of anxiety!!  Small errands - do I really have to get out of the car with her by myself... she's not even 2 weeks old... is this safe???  Luckily we only had to go go the dry cleaning (nope, went through the drive up - although I did get out and run around the truck just to make sure she was okay) - note to self, must invest in a mirror so I can see her from the drivers seat!!

After dry cleaning - on to the bank.... yep, you guessed it... I actually had to get out of the car... yikes!!  Thank goodness there were no lines and I got in and out in a flash!!!  All would be proud!!  (since I'm by the bank might as well pick up an Asai bowl :) )... then it was off to get the truck inspected - yep, o ut of the car again... then it was rush, rush home for feeding...

all in all we had a very productive day!!!!

Thought... really, that many diapers a day???  I mean c'mon...

as soon as I change a wet one - here come's a dirty one...

As Dray says... what college fund, it went all to diapers :)

Until next time... xoxoxo

Random thought...

I don't think I've ever felt this way - looking at Brnleigh makes my heart smile... My life complete - when I look at Dray I see my whole world... The love of my life - people tell you there's a feeling you'll get the first time you see your little one - easy to say but hard to relate... Until it happens to you - I feel truly blessed - a wonderful husband who I adore and who I appreciate each and every day... And a daughter... Our precious little gift that makes Dray and I melt every hour of every day!!!

Long awaited...

Whew!!! What a difference a week makes!!! Sorry for not writing sooner but as you can probably imagine - been a little busy and sleep deprived!!! Let's recap:
6/16/11 - went to the hospital to get monitored around 4:30. Everything looked great but they wanted to do an ultra sound just to make sure. During the US we were told she's already 9lbs... Yes, you can imagine my reaction!!! WOW - can I do this??? Suppose it's a bit too late to turn back now - besides, haven't women been doing this for 100's of years!!!
We got home around 7:30- had dinner - wasn't really feeling well but just thought that was normal - we decided to go to bed around 9:45 - yes, had to use the restroom before turning in... That's when the fun started! Water broke and it was off to the hospital at 10!!

Arrived - of course, still leaking - and got checked in. "this is it" I kept telling myself - can I get through this??? Of course I can cause I have the most amazing husband by my side!!! @ 11 I was only 1 cm... 2am got my epideral... Around 3:30 or so they gave me pitocin and I was about 2.5 cm... 4am I was 4cm ... 5 am I was 9 cm... By the time my doc got there around 6am I was 10 cm+ ( didn't know you could but apparently you can!) next words out her mouth were ' you ready to push...'

Brynleigh Renn Wilson born 6/17/11 6:50 am 6lbs 14 oz 20 in long!!!

6/19/11 - happy father's day!!!! We brought Brynleigh home!!! Grandparents and Aunt Mandy were still here... Mom, my wonderful mom, stayed the week with us - I can't imagine what would've happened if she wouldn't have been here - definitely my saving grace!!!

6/24/11 - mom goes home. NO!!!! Guess I knew she'd have to go home sometime!!!
First night alone - not gonna lie, a bit rough!! I think it was only because we needed to rearrange the schedule some due to Dray going back to work on Monday.

Now today... Up at 6am - feeding - went for our first walk at 7am - ate breakfast, took shower, fed again, had wake time for a bit and now it's sleep time and I decided to do a quick update ( is this quick - I mean typing in this iPad doesn't seem so fast!!! )

There ya have it - like I said... Been a busy/sleep deprived week!!!

What's up next... I promise to post pics (either I can't figure out how to do it from the iPad or it's just something that can't be done ) ... Aunt Lori & Uncle Frank will be here over July 4th, Uncle Chad may come too ... Expect mom & dad to come again after that as well as Aunt Mandy and we have Aunt Alicia coming to visit the weekend of July 22nd ... Our calendar is booking up and we love it!

Till next time...

Update

Haven't updated in a while - either been tired or busy and not real sure if anyone even reads this stuf but I will say it does feel good to write again!
What's happened since last post... A lot! We're inducing on July 1'st... Was in the hospital last week with contractions - they tried to stop 'em and finally were successful after a pain pill and a sleeping pill! Now it's just wait time!
This past weekend was spent 'nesting'... Or so I'm told by my friends today. Dray and I spent all day Saturday getting all the last minute must-haves and went to see The Hangover II (ok, some funny parts but pretty much just like the first) and were gone for 9 hours - I did well except for my feet - WOW - talk about tree stumps!!! Then Sunday I cleaned all the stuff, emptied cabinets in the kitchen to make room for all the baby stuff, rearranged all the cabinets while moving things around... I thought I did a lot but looking around today it seems I've got a lot more to do!!!
That's about it ... Just playing the waiting game and wondering when she'll be here!!! Will update again soon with nursery pics and maybe even a belly pic or two!